A season called love

 "No one would believe that you have returned from Germany ", grunted my friend looking at my ugly T shirt and not a office look track pant. Just like German cars, people expect me to be at top notch quality, and in everything.  

For Indians, life has a certain stages which you cant skip neither miss or delay, if in case you skip, miss or delay , you can get free advice from anyone, any random stranger will be ready to guide you there. And that is why I am here, far from city lights or parents fights, sitting in a fast developing town remote working, freelancing and occasionally building websites for a supermarkets that run in a foot space of 300 sqft.

 "The description should say this, 'anything you can imagine can be found here', good right?", boasted Ramu uncle with pride. I couldn't find a toothbrush here the other day, look at his promo all white lies, even If I had two percent of his confidence I would be married by now.

 "Not just that , we will add ' best shop in the world ' ok uncle!", flattered my friend making uncle blush, I think he is in desperate need of money. But for me this is all fun and charity, I'm sure no one would even search this place in map, forget seeing his website.

I live in a terrace room/house, I get the view that comes with balcony/terrace and mostly privacy. Rent of 5K is probably the most expensive amount here for that room and that too for a bachelor, but that was a half-day salary for me with some peace.

With elections around the corner, the locality looked festive. Strangers were feeding strangers sweets, and asking for vote in return, but I was out for my favorite dysentery dosa. The thing is every time I eat those, my stomach doesn't feel as good as me. 

" Two dosa with extra onion, extra masala and extra chutney", Raji akka prompted before I can order. I nodded yes,  how weird people who are not friends, family or of any callable relationship know us very well.

After eating two plates I knew my next destination, that would be ideally my washroom but I wanted to take precaution this time, so I made a slight change in my route and went ahead to the nearest and only medical shop.

There are two places where you need to be alone to confidently buy, first - a wine shop, secondly, a medical shops for certain things.  I looked around like a thief before going down the lane.  I clearly spotted the shop, it was open and without any customers.

"I need ...", before I can complete someone was behind me in urgency, I dare to turn around.

"Can I get woodwands for baby?" inquired a lady from behind whom I dared to see,  it was embarrassing to buy a dysentery pill before a lady

I tried scratching my left side of my face time to time to close any visible resemblance.

"And also pampers and ..", the list continued from their side. Actually there were two standing behind me, one buying stuff and other pacifying the baby..

"Do you need condom sir? , looks like they might take a bit to complete", boldly with smirk asked the shopkeeper making me go embarrassed.

"No, just dysentery pills", I whispered in his way making a grunt facial expression

"then why are you shying, everyone meets such a day sir, don't hesitate. And how often is it happening, how liquid is it?", he put me to test with his testifying questions.

"just give me something", I whispered again making one of the women giggle .

"If i give you a strong one , then you will return back asking for a reverse tablet sir", laughed the medic. It was not my day to protest, I tried to run off before he gets to some more shaming details.

As I said, it wasn't my day, I couldn't run either, my face went through thousands of expressions displaying none to her, I stood there searching for something in my trousers, something that can help me deal this day and all I found was nothing.

"How are you? and ... I seriously had no Idea that you will be here, I thought you left to Germany", she uttered a few words through her mouth and thousands through her eyes. She looked just like how I met her the last time, just her eyes looked sad, tired or sleepless.

"I am just like that, I... I work here, forget me!, what are you doing here in this remote town? How are you, tell me everything?", I bombed her with a lot of questions. 

What hurt me more was not her marriage to some random guy, but the fact that I cant see her often, I won't be the same person I was to her, her presence mattered to me more than my relationship with her. 

She spoke to the other lady and waved bye to her and came towards me with her baby, at least I guess so.

"She is Mithra, you remember my college friend Mythili, her sister. I came here for Mythili's marriage, they wanted to do it in their ancestral home, a 5 day stay", she shared me all details without a hesitation like always.

I nodded like always waiting for her command, honestly I couldn't get enough of her. Looking at her after two years, two horrible years made me look at her without words.

"I heard there is a beach here, can we walk?", she asked me breaking the ice. 

"yeah, yes, come I will show you around ", I tried acting as if all this doesn't matter.

I can see how she has slowed, not something that she liked earlier but, now she carriers a baby. 

"Can I hold her?", I asked her looking at the baby. 

I have never let her to carry, not even her hand bag, how can I not offer to hold her little life. She sweetly gave the little one to me, i'm no dad but I instantly knew how to hold .

Her pace seemed a bit fine now, but there were no questions from her. The setting sun made the beach look mesmerizing, not too many people around to romantize the view. 

"Why haven't you married yet? Marriage is not bad as it seems...not for everyone, for some it can do miracles. Don't you wanna to marry?" she finally asked me that question with pure genuineness. If someone can google what is the most asked question at me, that would be top 1.

"Who said I didn't wanna marry", I honestly replied with a huge smile.

"then?", she was unsure.

" The one I wanted to, is taken", I gave a sweet smile completing my sentence.

There was silence, us and the vast sea before us. The eight month year old liked spilling sand beneath my T shirt.

"My room is very near from here, you see that terrace, that is where I live. Do you wanna come there and see around", I asked a blunt question to a married women. But in my mind she is still the same girl, the one I fell in love with.

I quickly wanted to correct it by saying sorry, I knew deep inside I shouldn't pose such a question.

"Our clothes are there, can we go and get it and go back to your place?", she surprised me with that answer just like how she agreed to get married.

We went until my place to get my bike, and then we went to the marriage hall to get her things. Looking at her bring her things, it looked like she vacated. We came back to my one roomed housing, I carried her things to the second floor terrace room built on top of a warehouse.

I opened my room to her, she was actually pretty happy looking at it.

"Sorry, its a bachelor's pad", I explained to her. 

"You have kept it pretty neat, actually it was pretty crowded there, and it makes..", before she can complete "makes you uncomfortable", I finished it for her. 

I gave her fresh bedspread and my mattress to sleep comfortably. And for me, I don't think I will be able to sleep. I tried fitting myself on the two seater couch with an extended chair. To be frank I was wondering how she accepted my request, and how she quickly slept like that in a strangers place.

My nights were sleepless just like I hoped, not because of her but the little one. I now have some vague idea of why her eyes were tired. I cuddled the little one in my hands, tickled her and wondered how things would have been if we were together, maybe like this?

When I woke up I was still holding the little one to my chest, and her mother was looking at me. 

" This was the longest sleep I had in months", she uttered crushing my heart into pieces.