A Silent Song

                                       I don't occupy much of my house, its kind of too big for a single person to reside. Considering that i rented my first floor to a couple. At  27 , I have my own start up. But the concept of start-up is wrongly understood. A idea, some money, few people to work and success. But no it isn't that way. There's no return anytime soon. You cant afford skilled labour with the money u have. You need investors to pool money, but investors need a solid product, but a solid product needs craftsman, and a craftsman needs money . So its a loop, and i was in that loop. Leaving a job that is paying you 15 LPA is not easy, and it's really not easy for your relatives too. So i decided this, I'll have my startup at my place itself therefore I'll reduce the rent bill at least. And since i don't use more than one room, i have converted my two other rooms and my hall to my work lab.

My tenants had a dog, Sometimes it comes running down making all my staff panic. He doesn't bite, but his figure can make u pee. And then she comes behind it running from upstairs. Considering her , a lean figure, not too tall,  she pulls her dog again with her full strength. And i can see most of my boys staring at her rather the dog. well cant deny the fact that she is pretty.  So is her husband,he is a handsome chunk.

He hasn't talked much to me, neither I have seen them together often. I get my rent on time, no parking issues since they don't have a vehicle .Just the dog that barks, but im fine with it. She takes her dog out daily at 9 pm alone. All i know is , her husband is home. Looking at her from the balcony. Sometimes i feel if i were him, i would go with her instead of standing in the balcony. What kind of husband is he.!!! I have heard few of my colleagues gossiping that her husband is quite rude.

 It was a December night, i was walking from bus stand to home. It was late, the streets were empty, foggy, just few stray dogs roaming around and myself on the road. Few street lights are down, creating a dark shade everywhere. But its 5 mins walk to my place, i hum something and walk straight. Surprisingly i see her around with her dog.  And now she acknowledges me, with a small smile. My foot is now bit slower, i walk in parallel with them. I don't think i will reach home in 5 mins. The day's dust is finally settling down. I slowly try to make a conversation with her. The much waited moment is finally there.

"So!!! .. Name????..".

I want to know her name. Its no shock that i didn't know her name. Her husband image created by my staff was good enough to stay away from her. But i get something different here, "chintu". I get her dog's name. He was already licking all over my shoes. "This buddy is totally cool", i tell her. Chintu is Jumping over me, ....I can see a fainted smile on her face when she looks at us.

 He is totally pulling her over places. I just ask her to give the rope, initially she is hesitant, but i get his custody at the end. Now i want to ask her all sorts of question. " Why is she here?? Why doesn't her husband come along?? Do they have a rough marriage,?"  But I'm nervous , what if she finds it different. I want to walk around like this,  peaceful!!!!  until my home, that's all i want now. We are half way, like i said it took 10 mins for half way. This silence is singing songs in my head. I look at her like a small kid. My head isn't moving, but my eyes are. This is so painful literally and physically. We neared home, but today i didn't see her husband around, She got the rope back and went upstairs. I was expecting a small smile, or a bye gesture I stood there for few minutes and then went in.

Don't know if she had any serious problem with her husband. But i had no problem with her having a problem .What kind of house owner am i?? I couldn't get her name. i tried looking for the man in fb, and find some connection to her but he showed no proof of existence. My thoughts were around her. The next day i was studiously waiting for chintu. But neither him nor she was out. I tried focusing on my work.  I had an investor meetings tomorrow. I was preparing my slides. This is my 7th meet with them. They like it, but they are hesitant. Every time doing this thing to them feels like a arranged marriage stuff where the boy meets the girl.She doesn't like him, or her parents doesn't, or the background doesn't. I sometimes don't get what they want.

Developing a video platform is difficult. Everything should be good. The teaching, the way the site looks, material, everything matters. I have invested 10 lakhs here. And my company's estimate as of date is nearing a million. I have to spend on the static domain,  on advertising ,look at ways to increase my visitors count. I have to spend some money on my employee skill set.  Believe me, everything can be done, but there's something called holding the family name. That's  is not happening anytime in the future.
What kind of society do we live in??  There's a news "OLA driver earns 60 k per month" and  my uncle's eyes are at me.Anything that matters is a lump paying job. Sometimes i feel I'm walking in reverse. When most people like to settle down, i'm running around chaos.

 Sun is down, and my staffs are packing. I plan for a quick dinner. I wave bye to last employee and close the gate. They have taken all their vehicle so i try to lock the big gate and just leave the single gate open. Anyway my tenants don't have a vehicle, so they can use this conveniently. And i really wanted to look up. I want to know if she is standing or not. But  I couldn't gain the courage to look at someone's wife. I walked with my head down.

 I didn't see her nor chintu that night. Its already 30 mins past their walking time.
 I had a guilty feeling. Is her husband jealous of me??
 He hasn't spoken once to me since they moved in. May be he is like those husbands who lock the wife if they talk to a stranger!!...Was it me??  Did i grab her freedom??  Too many questions put you to sleep soon, so was i that night.


The next day was up there, I was getting ready for investors meeting. Its 20 mins from my place, but i dont want to be late. It was 12 30 PM, They have planned a lunch meet. I booked a cab. Looks like the cab driver doesn't know how to use map. I was cursing him , literally for trying to mess my meet.
 Finally he arrived

"sir this address!!!!!" I came here yesterday to pick the madam. She gave the landmark correctly sir"
 What, !!!???

 "Why did she take a cab??? So she wasnt home yesterday??," with all  these questions I got in the cab.  I slowly asked the driver , which lady???

 He said the one who resides up,  I was more curious. There were theories on my head. Could it be a fight?? Or a simple get together???.  I enquired him, "was she alone??".!!!!
 But this time the cab driver gave me a weird look. He looked at  like a cheapoo. Like the serial wali guy who suspect's his wife of affair. He didn't answer me.

I felt so bad. What am i doing?? Who gave me the rights to ask???!!!!!!!!!
 I got down at the hotel, and the charge was 160. I gave him a 200 and said to keep the change. I gave that out of guilt. He got it happily. I walked a few steps and heard him call. I went near the cab. " She was with someone,  but that doesn't make her bad. she wasn't feeling well so she took someone's help. Dont do this sir,  You should learn to trust "


 I was ashamed of my action. The trust the stranger had on her, why doesn't her husband have it on her?? But wait!! her husband didn't enquire her, it was me.

According to me they don't look happy. I don't know the reason but i want her happy. Wait was she not well??. How did he say??  With all these thoughts i was on the lunch meet. I did the same presentation again for the nth time. This is not new to me, all these questions and answers are now old. This time i wasn't even tensed. I had a something else to worry about. The event was over in an hour. I reached home around 6 pm.  My staffs were almost leaving. I went to my kitchen to get some cold water and i saw a sweet box.  I asked my colleague for the occasion. They said it was from my tenant, I had a smile on my face instantly and I ate as much i could.

I was waiting for the moon to come up. I was waiting for chintu's sound. Every time after the meet i used to wait for the mail. I used to be anxious about the result. But this time it was different
 I was waiting near the gate. Time wasn't moving. Someone was holding my clock. Finally, she did come....A smile brew over me seeing her. And chintu overtook her and jumped over me.He was all over me, but i was trying to look at her. She was full of smile, "he like u a lot. This is how he jumps on my husband  too. Is this your walking time??"

 I nod yes and walk along. I try open the gate for her like the way they portray gentlemen in movies.
 She is happy about the act, She asks me if i want to hold chintu in action by showing the rope
 How could i say no!!!!!!.  I graciously get it from her. I hold the rope like a medal. Now chintu is pulling me all along.  He is strong, she is laughing at me and then looks upstairs.
All i can see is her love, love for him, What's wrong with her, While i quiz myself, chintu has finally stopped. We are quite far from her husband's visibility.


 I start the conversation by thanking her for the sweets. She is glad that i had those sweets. I'm now more curious ... I ask her if it was her birthday?? Or is it her husband's birthday?? Or is it Chintu's birthday??? i try to be jovial which isnt clearly happening.

She had a cute smile , really cute one. It starts with her eyes and spreads across the face and the it reaches my heart. But the reply the next moment snatched back all . "We are expecting a baby!"

She is pregnant!!!!! . I felt horrible, like a cheated lover. Each passing second is gripping my throat stronger.  I feel terribly weak. I couldn't hold chintu. He is too strong for me, I'm swallowing something that i didn't eat. My hands tremble. But then I look at her, she is happy, the happiness glows all over her. I take a deep breathe and walk along her. This time she has all sorts of questions for me, What i am doing, Why i am not married, Where are my relatives, Why is the world round?? ...

 I give her quick most uninteresting answers. I feel like suffocating to death.  But i don't want her to pull Chintu all along. Now i muster courage to question her. " Why doesn't your husband come along??. Chintu seems little heavy for u".   She took a moment, "He doesn't like socialising, he is quite an introvert. But he loves me a lot".
Where did the question of love come from??,   I wasn't convinced of the answer, but she never cared about it. She was in her own world. We walked back, he was smiling at her from the balcony. Their eyes spoke love. The only defect in the picture was me and chintu.

 My heart was heavy , i couldn't get a good sleep. The next day was quite lucky on work front , the investment deal was up. Over the next few months our work doubled up. Our working hours scaled up as well as the workforce size.

But not once i missed the walk. As months passed she couldn't walk as fast, but i was all OKEY. So was the man upstairs. Initially I was looking for a reason, I took all theories of uncertainty, But it was all mine. And at the end I understood.... Its after all love. You need not have a reason to love. She might have a perfect love, perfect husband, perfect life. But cinema has a different way of showing, either the husband is a drunkard or the women is widow. Else its portrayed as a sin. But mine is wont fit their definition.

We talked a lot, from pregnancy to Shakespeare, but nothing personnel about our self. Seven months of companionship came to an end. She came down to me saying that they are vacating the house, I was shattered, she is going back to her home town.

 Three months down the line  I got a friend request from her husband . I was glad he opened a Facebook account. I quickly accepted and went through his profile . I couldn't see any of her picture. Looks like he has created it that day. But i found a cute post," welcoming baby RAGHU home".  And i had tears. He wasn't rude, in fact he was a true angel. I did like the post. For him it would have shown 'Raghu liked your post'.

-- Reena